Random Sighting

self improvement

"Some days I make myself use the mouse with my left hand. This helps develop nuero-pathways in the right side of my brain." I hear this from my coworker in the cubicle next to mine. Though the statement sounds like douchebaggery, he's a cool guy. Maybe more surprisingly, that shit appeals to me. I love self improvement... and it's driving me insane.
I imagine using my left hand for everything - eating, writing, hand shaking, etc. And though in my mind I see myself with a huge, super-developed right brain, the over all effect isn't that great. I have food stains on my shirt, my writing looks like a child's (backward's e's and all), and meeting new people always gets off to an awkward start. People would treat me different, like I'm slow. My boss might consider firing me until she realizes having a mentally challenged man-boy probably meets some affirmative action quota.
I think a lot about all the things I could be doing to better myself. Problem is, I just about never try.

My list of things to do:
1. Guitar lessons
2. Take Spanish classes
3. Learn kung fu (or some ass kicking equivalent)
4. Write short stories, or maybe even a book
5. Turn this blog into a printed zine
6. Read non-fiction
7. Send demos out promoting my band
8. Move to Portland and go to museums with my new Portland hipster art friends
9. Read the New York Times (preferably somewhere I'll be seen doing it)
10. Work out three times a week

I wish I could just leave myself alone. If I watch much TV, I feel bad for not doing something else. I've got several great songs (I think) in my computer collecting dust, waiting for me to write and record lyrics. I've been talking about guitar lessons for over a year now. Seeing as for every thing on my list I may eventually accomplish I'll just make up two more, I'm trying to learn to relax.
"Some days I make myself use the mouse with my left hand. This helps develop nuero-pathways in the right side of my brain."
"Why don't you just learn an instrument?" my other coworker asked.

Sex, drugs, and giant soda corporations.

What happened to rock? As the world wonders who let Axl out his cell, Guns N Roses lawyers make veiled threats to sue Dr. Pepper.
In March of 2008, the soda started the promotion that every person in America could get a free Dr. Pepper if GNR put out Chinese democracy, the new album 17 years in the making, before the end of the year. Well, the album came out in November to the world's collective yawn and Dr. Pepper put a free soda coupon on their website for only 24 hours. Problem was that the site crashed with all the traffic and peeps got angry. Some people seemed to think this soda disaster was somehow Axl's fault, even though GNR had no official role in the promotion.
Now Axl is talking about suing cuz he feels Dr. Pepper needs to do right by the fans.
Well buddy, you didn't do right by this fan by showing your old, bipolar face again. Please, please leave some of my high school memories of GNR and rock in general in tact. Go back to your cardboard box under the freeway and keep your hallucinations to yourself. How did rock n roll, the musical catalyst of social rebellion, become about getting your free soda?