On Friday morning 5/14/2010, former Alaska Governor and AK-47 enthusiast Sarah Palin revealed she is raising an army of "mama grizzlies" to lay siege to Washington D.C. and topple the currently majority Democrat government. A source close to Palin has revealed that, among other things, Palin has promised the bears better compensation for toilet paper advertisements, a 50% increase in honey supplies, and removal from zoos all signs that discourage feeding. Mrs. Palin did not reveal the size or capabilities of her army at present. A source in Ursus intelligence, speaking to us on the condition of anonymity, stated the grizzly militia is currently being equipped with lazer guns and jet packs.
Shortly after Palin's statements, DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano held a press conference, saying "Lazers? She got lazers? Are they, like, lazers for nerds doing research and shit? Or are they like Luke Sky walker blowing up the Death Star? Cuz there's a difference."
At this time, there is no indication Mrs. Palin has approached Brown, Black, or Polar bears.
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